Another Half Brained Scheme

I have a tab in my iPhone notes titled “Half Brained Schemes.”  Currently, we have 76 of them and only two have been completed (this blog being one of the two.  I don’t quite remember how successful my utilization of pi to create an Elliot Wave charting system to measure public opinion of NFL teams based on their week to week point spread was, but it could have also been an accident that I said I completed the task.) Needless to say, I don’t think I will be getting rich off of male targeted romance novels any time soon, so I have recently rehashed my car flipping idea with my childhood friend Buzz.

Let it be known, that this car flipping idea has already resulted in my purchasing a 1990 Volvo 240 wagon sight unseen after my dad checking all of my must have and no go boxes before coming to an agreement over the phone to purchase the car from his neighbor (which also led to me finding out my dad apparently likes his neighbor more than me.  Please don’t get me started.  NO rust does not mean holes rusted through wheel housing, and manual transmission means exactly what you think it does.)  I also purchased a boat from my mom’s neighbor when I could hardly walk on the fourth of july last summer.  luckily it was a sunfish but the thing has yet to see the water.  But look how happy I look on it after i purchased it!

So now, Buzz and I will be most likely attempting to flip a motorcycle.  We’re currently eyeballing a handful of late 80s/early 90s BMW bikes that we’re going to do some light cafe racer mods to and hopefully break even on.  Worst case scenario I have the local pick and pull come take the Volvo off my hands (which ahs cost me $240 in parking tickets since May) and I do some Teslaesque balance sheet trickery to say I made money flipping a motorcycle.  Sorry, did I say worst case?  That’s probably the best case.  Worst case I have a motorcycle sitting in my mom’s garage next to my leaky sunfish because I know well enough that my wife won’t let the thing share space with our car and Ben’s mom would never allow such trashery to take place in their own garage.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ve been googling what to do in the event of a power grid failure which is a sure sign that I’m too drunk to make the decision as to whether or not I should buy an urban wood burning stove.

-The Pug