A Beacon of Hope

Dark times are upon us, my friends. We’ve been under shelter in place for a month now and I’m sure you’ve all been wondering where I’ve been.

Shit is getting pretty dark. The world was captivated by a gun toting, mullet sporting homosexual meth addict with 180 pet tigers, but now that has come to an end and we’re in need of a new distraction to unite the planet. And then, out of nowhere, a hero announces their return.

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5e9a77526b540

I’ve written extensively on my love for Heather Brooke (first post on this dumpster fire of a smut blog)

https://whitetrashdaydreams.com/2018/10/02/the-journey-begins/

And I’ve already sent her an email asking if there was any chance she was laying in her yard, staring at the stars and indulging in herself on August 4, 2017.

Welcome back, Heather. I look forward to see what you have planned to save humanity in these dark times.

-Quarantine Pug

Edit:

Received a terrible letter, so adding our first ever letters to the editor (yea, I’m declaring myself editor in chief of this smut rag today) mailbag Q and A bc why not.

Q:

“She’s not very hot. Am I missing the point?” – signed an idiotic reader who’s parent bought him a blue iMac for his bedroom in 2002 but somehow never downloaded Heather Brooke Porn

A:

SHE IS LIKE A PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES DURING OUR DARKEST HOUR, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!

She is HEATHER FUCKING BROOKE.

It’s about the fucking nostalgia, dude. I’m pretty sure I took down no less than three Dell PC’s in my childhood home downloading virus infested Heather Brooke porn. You really take for granted her skill set because girls of her skillset are a dime a dozen these days and you can access them faster than you can undo your zipper.

Heather Brooke is an OG internet star. When I was 13 I spent weeks fixated on her, scouring the web and looking to procure every last grainy ass video her husband Jim filmed on the same family camcorder he filmed his grandma blowing out her candles on her 90th birthday, desperately trying to wrap my mind around the fact that what whse was doing wasn’t just some newly discovered CGI technique or some old time parlor trick.

Nope.

It’s real.

And now, she has returned in our darkest hour.

I am confident that America will survive! We are resilient! We will not go quietly into the night!

We have a guiding light!

-a slightly less afraid pug