Ready to talk boxing?
The most anticipated heavyweight bout in some time is set to take place tonight at the Staples Center, as two literal giants in Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury square off for not only the lineal title and the WBC title belt, but also the right to face IBF, WBA, WBO, and IBO title holder in a match to unify all heavyweight titles. Wilder has held the WBC belt since defeating Bermain Stivern by unanimous decision in Wilder’s only fight to go to the cards. Fury is the former holder of the IBF, WBA, WBO, and IBO title belts. Former, because he was stripped of the IBF for not granting a mandatory fight to a challenger due to other contractual obligations, while the latter four were vacated due to going on a raucous coke bender celebrating his underdog victory over Wladimir Klitchko. Really. Tested positive for coke and was suspended, but I can’t judge, having gone on similar benders for much smaller accomplishments.
Wilder, (self-styled as “The Bronze Bomber,” after his bronze medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Not the most intimidating move to go running around bragging about third place, but I guess that’s what you get to do when you have a stick of dynamite strapped to your right hand.) comes in at 6’7″, 212lbs with a reach of 83 inches. He’s often criticized for being a bit wild in the ring, but when he connects it’s often lights out for whoever’s at the other end of the stick. 39 of his 40 professional bouts ended by knockout, and the one that went the distance versus Bermain Stivern is now in the back of everyone’s mind after Deontay sent Stivern straight to queer street in the first round of the much-anticipated rematch.
Wild, but effective
Wilder faced another tough test in his most recent fight against Luis “King Kong” Ortiz. Wilder controlled the fight early on with his jab, but in the middle rounds Ortiz began to wear him down. In the seventh round the referee was about to call the fight as wilder found himself essentially out cold on his feet. He was saved by the bell and rallied to knock Ortiz out in the 10th.
Fury hasn’t faced anyone of pedigree since his upset of Kitschko in 2015, so I am a little wary of his skills coming into the fight. He has looked very lean and quick in his two tune up fights, and I’m expecting him to rely on his size and reach to keep Wilder at bay. Tyson Fury looks like a fucking cartoon character drawn for Mike Tyson’s Punch Out for NES. He is unbelievably quick for a man his size and utilizes his fantastic footwork an unorthodox, ever shifting guard to confuse and feint opponents before he snaps another flurry of jabs on their head. It’s so much fun to watch the beer gutted, bald-headed, 6’9″ 257 pound, Irish Traveler gypsy prance around the ring. Wilder will be hard pressed to get under the 85 inch reach of “The Gypsy King.”
Fury is also undefeated, coming in at 27-0, 19 of which came by knockout. I think he has a legitimate shot at taking this fight the distance and winning on points, but he needs to frustrate Wilder with his jab and craftiness and be wary of the bomb Wilder will look to drop at any given time.
I like taking Fury +135, as Wilder has little value @-175. Maybe pick a round somewhere in the middle of the fight and lay Wilder to win by knockout, otherwise I’m staying away from Deontay.
The undercard doesn’t have all that much excitement in it, as we’ll see Jarrett Hurd vs. Jason Welborn (WBA, IBF, IBO Super Welterweight titles). Jarrett Hurd is coming off shoulder surgery after putting on a fight of the year contending show when he relieved Erislandy Lara of his hardware. This is a tune up fight for him, as is the heavyweight showing of Luis Ortiz vs. Travis Kauffman. If you want to find your odds, I’d recommend taking Ortiz to win by knockout. We’ll open with Joe Joyce vs. Joe Hanks (Heavyweight) in LA, but after we get a live look from Quebec for the WBC and lineal light heavyweight title between Adonis Stevenson and Oleksandr Gvozdyk. Stevenson has held the title since 2013 and anyone who has faced the 41 year old has been forced to do so in his own adopted country of Canada. I’d imagine that’s just fine for Gvozdyk, as fellow Ukranian stablemates Vasyl Lomachenko and Oleksandr Usyk have performed excellently on the road and are never intimidated to fight in front of hostile crows. Lay a unit on Gvozdyk @-170 for fun, I think Stevenson Adonis is done. (Not a typo. The dude’s birth name is Stevenson Adonis but he liked the way it sounded backwards better. At least he didn’t reference third place.)
Before we go, all this talk of fighting cannot go without addressing Kareem Hunt hitting a woman. I’ll let you find the video yourself, but before I say my piece, please let me state that I’m not ok with victim shaming and blah blah blah you know the drill. I need to say that I feel as bad for this bitch as I do for the guy who gets murdered by a tiger* when he climbs in the tiger* cage or the guy who goes to an island with an isolated culture known to kill visitors on site. There is a gigantic black man barely being held back by 4 people who happens to play football in the NFL (which has a history of large black men beating women) and he looks as though he may want to hurt you. Maybe run the fuck away instead of taunting his ass after you hit him in the head with your purse?
Enjoy your night,
Pugilist Pug
*i was going to say gorilla cage but i wouldn’t have wanted to offend anyone.
White Trash Day Dreams 