The Answer to r/wallstreetbets Woes: Pug’s Big Dirty

Considering I had to wait five mins in the line at the liquor store today while the average Joe who sounded like he could be a member of the bears super fans explained what a “gamma squeeze” is to the clerk behind the counter while he rang up his six pack, I don’t think I need to provide an intro to wall streets bets and the GME fiasco.

Let me just say that it’s the biggest crock of dog shit I’ve ever heard when a bunch of supposed professional investors can’t even exercise basic risk management principals when shorting an already undervalued stock! These prick’s charge their investors 2% annually and 20% of all profits and the can’t even recognize the dangers of shorting 140% of available shares?

And now, today, we have actual brokerage platforms restricting their clients from trading any of these stocks unless it’s a closing position, and just prior to this announcement there was large volume selling the stock. You think Citadel is ever going to get investigated for that??? No. Of course not. Bc they’ve made it so plainly clear that only hedge fund approved boners on CNBC are allowed to talk about stocks with each other and pump up their book on blogs and chat rooms. If little fish start talking about stocks with each other we’ll just ask our friends at the exchange to halt the stock and say it’s in retail investors best interest. FUCK YOU. Watch, next step is you will have to become an accredited investor to open a brokerage account. They won’t let normal people trade bc it’s “dangerous” and they don’t know what they’re doing. You’ll have to give your money to someone to manage it for you so nothing like this happens again.

Ok ok I’m just really pissed off. We already have an overreaching government who is arbitrarily deciding which businesses get to survive and continue to do business during a very real but also very overblown and convenient pandemic and now we’re letting hedge funds decide which individual stocks investors can trade. This is us against the ruling class who think they get to decide what’s best for us when they don’t give a flying fuck about anyone other than themselves. Fuck their exchanges, we don’t fucking need them. We’ll start our own on the block chain and tell them all to fuck right off.

Decentralized exchanges, motherfuckers, run on ethereum, transactions verified by individual token holders incentivized by rewards for staking your tokens to be utilized on the chain.

Ok so the way it works now us this:

If you want to buy a stock, you need to call a brokerage house, they need to get your SSN, bank routing info, do a background check, get the unique starfish pattern on your asshole, etc before they’ll even consider letting you pay them for the right to buy stock, hold it in their coffers so they can make voting decisions on your behalf and lend it to their friends so they can sell more shares than there are outstanding. Back before computers and the internet, this fee structure made sense. There were actual people performing these difficult tasks and record keeping and safe storage and it was a service well spent. But now the only thing they do is build an interface, run a database, and allow leaches like Citadel to front run their orders and rip off retail investors. Why the fuck do you need to pay them to hold this stuff you own and benefit from all of the fun stuff you can do like charge people to borrow it from you? Soon, they won’t be able to, you’ll be the master of your domain.

Enter DeFi. It’s a type of protocol built on the ethereum blockchain that enables users to exchange tokens without having a centralized exchange. Basically, the whole point of the block chain is to eliminate the leaches that were formally necessary services prior to computers making them obsolete. Yes, I need a person to take me around a new town to show me homes and help me make an informed decision. Yes I need a person to come inspect the house. Now why do I have all of these other titling and mortgage fees on top of all of that? Bc they know there’s no other way. But there is, it’s on the block chain and it keeps the record forever and you pay some boners a nominal fee to transcribe it into the record book. Wanna buy GME from me? Hold on let me send it from my ethereum wallet to you, it’ll probably cost $1 in fees regardless of the number of shares.

Ok now onto the big dirty. The most ass backwards thing about cryptocurrency right now is that retail investors are using centralized exchanges like Coinbase and binance to trade these tokens that claim they will bring about a future of decentralized transaction platforms. We’ve learned today that centralized exchanges will never act in the interest of the majority of their users or be fair, so if they’re gonna let citadel take their football and go home when they’re losing for the first time ever, why don’t we tell them to fuck off? And they’re not allowed to play? We can, by using DeFi based protocols.

You see, there are several platforms that are working toward creating a decentralized exchange. There’s the 0x protocol, chain link, uniswap and several other that are working towards an exchange that wouldn’t be able to declare trading is ceased in a specific product bc my friend is losing money. They’re all great but they’re all established with incredibly large market caps, not really any reason to pick one over just investing in Ethereum if you’d like exposure to the idea. Oh, wait, what’s this? Why is this one called AirSwap so under valued? AST Token? Hmm, that’s weird it actually powers the MetaMask wallet and has a plan for the near future in which holders will get paid interest to lend their coin to power the network which generates hundreds of thousands of transactions a day. Let me dig a little deeper…

Apparently there is growing evidence that the Binance exchange views Airswap as the biggest threat to their business model. These guys are killing it in fees on something that isn’t supposed to use a centralized exchange and they’ll do anything to keep the stranglehold on global investors looking to take fliers on shit coins that the more respected (but also centralized) Coinbase. So what binance appears to be doing is printing an infinite amount of their in house token, Binance Coin, going to DeFi, swapping their Binance Coin for Airswap, and then selling Airswap for ETH in an effort to suppress the funding for what they view as the biggest threat to their predatory company.

You’re retarded if you’re still here. I’ve spent the last year talking about this every day with my colleagues and I think this is our shit at the big dirty. They’re supposed to release the pay structure for staking your AST in the next few months. Currently it’s trading at $0.14. If my beliefs of market manipulation, a pay structure for staking your token, and a want for decentralized exchange come to fruition, there is no reason it shouldn’t have a market cap similar to its biggest competitor, uniswap. (That puts AST at around $11). If only one if the three happen we’ll get a pop.

Let’s get fucking retarded dudes. Set up a MetaMask wallet and get yourself some AST.

–a pug too tired to proof read who couldn’t not answer his friends bat signal for the big dirty